Saturday, 28 November 2009

and the winner is...

Pictures here from the inaugural if:book English/English Translation Challenge Prize, held in London's glamorous South Bank Centre, at the Hide & Seek Sandpit event this week.

The 2 winners were asked to 'translate' and sex up a paragraph from The Life & Opinions of Tristram Shandy by Laurence Sterne. Winning entries were tweeted live from the award ceremony where cheques for £6.80p (10p per word for 68 words) were handed to our two deserving winners, pictured below. Both chose to keep the cheques uncashed as a memento of their success in this significant literary award. Ben Moor and a second winner who was keen not to reveal her true identity are pictured receiving their prizes from the CEO of if:book London, the award's sponsors.


Me Me Wang (nom de plume) accepts her prize

Ben Moor (rumoured to be his real name) accepts his

The cheque!
Ben and competitors seek inspiration

Here's the original text of paragraph one of C H A P. VI.

IN the beginning of the last chapter,
I inform'd you exactly when I was
born ; -- but I did not inform you, how.
No; that particular was reserved entirely
for a chapter by itself ; -- besides, Sir, as
you and I are in a manner perfect stran-
gers to each other, it would not have been
proper to have let you into too many
circumstances relating to myself all at
once. -- You must have a little patience.


First Winner: Ben Moor with:

"The last tweet infosmacked you with the timestamp of my launch into life, but the how was redacted. That stuff gets its own update. We're not BFFs so don't diss me for the remiss!"

Second Winner:

Me Me Wang (nom de plume) with:


"Sex Scandal: Shock Horror: Peter and Jordan were never born. Find out how by calling 087012345 where ALL your dreams will come true and a chance of winning £10 million!"

(celeb version)

And here are some highly commendeds:
"I don't know you so I won't say how I was born, only at what hour" - Ari
(Perec-style no e's version)

"I'm not just gonna tell a geezer I never met before how my old lady got up the duff" - Ivo
(Regional accent)

"I told you of my coming to the dark side but not how it happened.NO, that I am withholding until after dark... besides sir, you and I are not well acquainted.. move a little closer.. and I will tell you more." (Shandy with Vampires) by Celine Llewelyn- Jones

And the final text on the shortlist by Sophie Whitehouse:

IN the beginning of the last chapter,
I inform'd you exactly when I was
born ; -- but I did not inform you, how.
No; that particular was reserved entirely
for a chapter by itself ; -- besides, Sir, as
you and I are in a manner perfect stran-
gers to each other, it would not have been
proper to have let you into too many
circumstances relating to myself all at
once. -- You must have a little patience."Said the Vampire"

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